Bad poet
(Book)

"100 bad poems about the pursuit of empty validation ; waiting tables at restaurants ; astrology ; Brie Larson ; love ; flip phones ; death ; Carly Rae Jepsen ; therapy ; half-eaten bowls of refrigerated breakfast cereal ; blood ; sugar ; sex ; magic ; what to do when confronting dead squirrels on the sidewalk ; prison pen pals ; Netflix ; goths ; professional wrestling ; Danzig ; Twitter ; the 'I’m no Superman' part from the theme song to the hit TV show Scrubs ; loneliness ; compulsively repeating the phrase “nightmare person” while self-reflecting in the shower ; smoking weed laced with dog hair ; childhood trauma ; junk food ; spiritually identifying as the Pigeon Lady from Home Alone 2: Lost in New York ; anxiety ; Facebook ; creepily stalking 7-Eleven parking lots at night while wearing a trench coat and drinking a Slurpee ; Uber ; nightmares where you’re just watching TV with your stepdad ; social distancing ; ageing ; substance abuse problems ; the latest version of Microsoft Office ; slow motion videos of trust falls gone horribly wrong ; semi-shitty bicycles ; tearing up during the cornier Rocky movies ; chasing Jell-O shots with warm cans of PBR on the fourth of July ; severely depressed giraffes ; wet dreams about being mauled by dogs at Toys ’R Us ; smiling knowingly while getting buried under burning piles of trash and so much more!" --Amazon.com